Matt presents: Matt's Blog.
updated whenever.

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

I've decided to put the kibosh on Edgarandallenpoe.com. Kaput. Finito. No mo'. End of the line. Another phrase.

It was fun while it lasted, but the reasons to knock this nonsense off outweigh the ones to keep it goin' full steam. Look, I have proof:

Reasons To Keep Doing Edgarandallenpoe.com
1. Money, power, women.
2. Voted "World's Slammin'est Webcomic" by some faceless dude online.

Reasons To Stop Doing Edgarandallenpoe.com
1. Used up all halfway-decent ideas.
2. No longer fun; coming up with new ideas, making new comics, and updating site have become a chore.
3. Barely any actual visitors to site.
4. No money, power, or women. I was lying.

So yeah. It's time to spray my creative juices elsewhere. I'll keep the site up, for prosperity, and whenever I come up with a decent little nugget of an idea, I'll post a new comic. And who knows, maybe I'll have a sweaty panic attack, completely change my mind, and return the site to it's usual daily updates. Who knows.

Thanks for an amazing, wild ride. I'll never forget any of you. I was also lying just now.

-Matt

Friday, February 17, 2007
Current Trend: Sweaters
Current Dip: Mild Jalapeño Cheddar

I've designed a new postcard for my home state. I really think it could boost tourism. I've got a meeting with the governor tomorrow morning.

Saturday, January 20, 2007
Current Position: Sitting
Current Flange: Hornspque

It's arrived!!

Fresh off those hot, steamy presses, I present to you: WHAT A FUTURE! The latest animated short, by none other than me. Hope you like it.

Sunday, January 14, 2007
Current Pants: Sweat
Current Friend: Steve

BIG SITE NEWS!

Good pal Rory has hooked EdgarAndAllenPoe.com up with an RSS feed. This means that those of you with a really futuristic web browser will be able to click the little RSS icon in the address bar on the main page, and you'll then possess the means to check future updates in a much simpler manner. Have at it, hotshot!

In other news, be on the lookout in the next few days for an all new animated short from none other than me.

And I've tweaked the "About" page a tad, if you give a crap. Goodnight, boys and girls.
-Matt

Tuesday, January 2, 2007
Current Pizza Topping: Sausage
Current Neighboring Country To The North: Canada

IT'S A BLOWOUT FUNSTRAVAGANZA CLEARANCE SALE!!!

The holiday season has left us overstocked!! We're up to our knees in leftover holiday-themed comics that weren't funny enough to begin with! And they're now available, FACTORY DIRECT TO YOU!! Three for the price of none!!

Sorry about those.

In other news, I frequently submit comics to Web Comic Battle, where I'm pitted against another random comic and folks click on the one they find funnier. I always lose by an embarrassingly large margin to the lamest, most humorless comics imaginable. Visit the site to witness funny getting crushed by unfunny.
-Matt

P.S. LOL!!1,000.

Saturday, December 9, 2006
Current Wing Flavor: Honey Barbecue
Current Event: Iraq War

Ladies and gentlefriends, I present to you the first in an ongoing series which I like to call "Comics That Were Deemed Not Funny Enough For The Main Page." Here she blows:

A little too subversive, I think. If you need me to explain it to you, write me and I will, thus making it even less funny.

In other news, I'd like to get some more daily visitors. Have you bookmarked this page? I'd buy you pizza if you did. It's totally easy. That way, you can simply click your bookmark, view the day's comic, mutter "I don't get it," then get on with your day. And if you have any brilliant schemes on how I could con more innocents into visiting, lemme know.

In other other news, Christmas is coming and it's lame and commercialized and cheesy and stressful and expensive and etc.

My best to you and yours (except that guy).
-Matt

Saturday, December 2, 2006
Current Mood: Pants
Current Height: 5'11

So I've decided to keep a blog here, ir order to further entice my readers to blatently ignore this website. I will utilize this space to make snide, sarcastic, fairly obvious observations, and also to let you know every little detail of my goings-on. Whereupon reading, you'll wonder why you wasted those precious minutes of your life. But the important thing is; you gave those minutes to me. I own them now. And I'm not giving them back.

This'll piss you off at first. You'll close your browser, feeling cheated, feeling used, feeling dirty. But then something'll happen. You'll keep thinking about this blog. Screw the comic, which is hilaaarious by the way, but that blog, man. Why can't you stop thinking about it? I'll tell you why. Because I got my witty little claws in you. You'll be back. You'll refresh this page daily, if not hourly. You'll jones, you'll thirst for more. And I'll sit back, take a sip of lemonade, and confidently whisper... "You're welcome."

But seriously, farts. I'll use this space for good, not evil. Keep your eyes peeled for bonus comics, other artwork, and various other goodies and surprises. I'll make sure to make the process of wasting your life away on the Cyber-Web as painless and pleasant as possible.

As incentive, hey look at this funny thing:

Better cut back there, pal! LOL!!!100

Have a safe and sexy flag day everyone!
-Matt